We need more positivity in our marriages! Sometimes we can find ourselves focusing on what’s not going right in our marriage, with our kids, our work etc. Although real challenges, when we focus on those things they can become all consuming and create a pattern of negativity and struggle. This can take the enjoyment out of our day to day and cause the time with our spouse to feel heavy and burdensome. Gottman research says outside of conflict, it generally takes 20 positive interactions with our spouse to combat one negative interaction for them to feel respected and appreciated. Wow! This is a big deal and means we need to be intentional about being positive in our marriages. Sometimes we can find ourselves in a rut because we aren’t having fun, and we aren’t looking for the good in our day to day or our spouse. In the midst of working on the marriage, be mindful of filling all your conversations with your spouse with negativity and what’s going wrong, don’t forget to look for and notice the positive too! What’s a positive interaction you can have with your spouse at this very moment? Can u send a text of appreciation? Smile? Rub their shoulders? Go do it! #Hope#Marriage#Positivity

When we think positively and speak positively it impacts our physiological make up. We are literally building the lives that we want…or don’t want with our words but it starts in our beliefs and thoughts. God knew. “A single word has the power to influence the expression of genes that regulate physical and emotional stress.” -Words Can Change Your Brain Book #Hope#Marriage#Words

Somebody needs to be reminded of this. You and your spouse are on the SAME team. An elite teammate does the following. Which one do you want to grow in?? -Encourages their teammate and sees the best in them. -Has a positive attitude. -Grows their own skills to make the team even better. -Does their best regardless of what their teammate is doing. -Carries the team when necessary without complaining or keeping track. -Gives their teammate the credit and lifts them up. -Does what needs to happen for the team to win even if it means less acknowledgement for themselves. -Accepts responsibility and owns their mistakes. -Commits to growth. -Leads with words AND actions. #Marriage#Hope#MarriedTeammates

Did you know we have a marriage podcast that has new episodes most weeks?!! We’ve received some great feedback on it! The goal is to strengthen and encourage your marriage so we talk about very relevant subjects and invite you into our lives and how we navigate and grow in our own marriage of 18 years as well. Also, added bonus, you get to hear me sing🤣 Please do the following 1. Listen and be encouraged! Link is in the profile 2. Like and leave a review 3. Share with others

It’s Friday!! A perfect day for a date night! How will you spend quality time with your spouse this weekend and/or week? #Hope#Marriage#DateYourSpouse#Date

What is the foundation for your marriage? What is it built on? Some would say love but what happens when you don’t feel loving or loved? You start to sink. Others would say the children, but what happens when they grow up and leave? The foundation crumbles. This is why statistically, there is an increase in divorce for empty nesters. I hope we have an abundance of love in our marriages and that our children are welcomed and enjoyed additions but when it comes to a firm foundation we need our marriages to be built on something that is unshakeable, consistent, the same yesterday, today and forever. For Christians, this is Jesus. A foundation that is steady and trustworthy through the good times and low times. That we can always depend on and has a higher standard that goes beyond our finite understanding. If Christ is our foundation it makes sense to grow in knowing who He is. Out of that knowing we come to find more about who He says we are, which overflows into who we choose to marry and also how we show up in our marriages. It’s all connected. #Hope#Marriage#Jesus#FirmFoundation

Have you ever learned something new and experienced exciting growth in an area only to find when you stopped learning and applying, you diverted back to your original state? We see this with New Years Resolutions all the time. We start off strong, start doing new things and then over time get tired and stop. Sometimes we then are worse off than before because we are discouraged. It does not have to be that way. Consistent intentionality over time can build a beautiful life and marriage. Investing in our marriages is a lifelong journey not a sprint. Building new ways of interacting and communicating more effectively takes awareness and intentional practice. Perfection isn’t attainable or desirable but growth is. #Hope#Marriage

Chad and I were invited to record some marriage content for @momcobymops in my hometown, Colorado! It was such a blessing and honor to get to encourage other marriages. We have been speaking on marriage and leading classes and seminars for over a decade together now, and the truth is, every time we speak is a much needed reminder for us, as well as whomever may be listening. The more we talk about marriage the more our marriage is sharpened and we are held accountable to live out what we are teaching. We don’t always succeed haha, but we are growing and committed to the process, for our marriage and yours. To God be the glory! In this with you!❤️ Marriages impact families, families impact communities and communities impact the world! #Hope#Marriage

I remember many many many years back when I was in labor. There was a point of transition that was incredibly painful. I thought to myself, “this is where I die in life,” and I didn’t think I could persevere any longer. And that’s when I heard it. My baby’s first cry!! Sometimes we give up right before that metaphorical birth. If we can hold on and persevere through the discomfort, we just might hear that sound of new life! #Hope#Marriage#Persevere

Merry Christmas Fam! Enjoy the moments, make the memories.❤️#Hope#Marriage

Yes! There’s so much we can focus on in our marriages and our life. What we focus on somehow comes true. Why not focus on this?!#Hope#Marriage

Can you imagine the impact we could have on this earth if we used the same energy we use to complain and argue with our spouse to clean up a community, to build an organization, to serve people? Can you imagine the impact we could have in our families and communities? Sometimes it takes just getting our eyes off our spouse as the problem long enough to see them as part of the solution. And focusing a little less on what we want and need and more on the needs of others. Let’s redirect that energy world changers and think bigger. There’s too much at stake to stay the same. What an opportunity, what an honor!#Hope#Marriage#Impact

Yes, consistency is the difference. Imagine what daily intentionality creates over a month, a year , 10 years, versus once a year an extravagant event. We want great marriages but do the bare minimum and sporadically at that. Consistency will do what randomness cannot, it will build a life of substance and purpose! #Hope#Marriage#ConsistencyInMarriage

Big and important moments don’t wait for convenience. Life happens in the midst of living it. There won’t be a better time to invest in your marriage than now. We have the opportunity to change the trajectory of our family legacy as we impact the next generation through our marriages. As we grow they grow! There was a special moment from one of my sessions that reminded me of this!#Hope#Marriage#Generations#Children

When we have a perspective of learning we can make adjustments when something isn’t working rather than negative declarations about why it won’t work. When we are learning we don’t see failures we see opportunities. Opportunities to self reflect and grow in our selflessness and weaknesses, try new things and keep at it until we see progress. Frustration turns to determination!! Don’t give up, you’re not failing you’re learning! #Hope#MarriageGrowth

The power of eye contact and empathy. Have a listen❤️#Hope#Marriage#EmpathyInMarriage

11 Benefits of Smiling… You'll Live Longer Elevates Your Mood Relieves Stress Helps You Fight Illness Lowers Blood Pressure Reduces Physical Pain Makes You a More Positive Person It's Contagious Builds Trust With Others Makes You Look younger Contributes to Success Source: https://www.delawarepsychologicalservices.com/post/11-benefits-of-smiling #Marriage#Smile#Hope

Storm and Wolverine sittin in a tree, KISS-ING🤣 Enjoy the friendship in your marriage! Sometimes we minimize the life we have lived with our spouse. From the vulnerability and courage to say I Do, to the built in companion at parties, the silly costumes, dreaming together and seeing goals come to pass, and wrapping presents for the kids late at night. There is significance even in the not so fun times of restless nights from babies crying, working through conflict, and dealing with health or financial concerns. The list goes on and on but all of it, the highs and the lows, make up a life. It all goes so much better when we continue to turn towards one another rather than away because the constant in the midst of it all is each other. Thankful for my wolverine😍#Hope#Marriage#MeaningInMarriage

Do you believe your marriage can grow? This is a question we ask all couples before we work with them because when we believe our marriage can grow and have faith that it will, it changes how we show up to counseling sessions. Faith leads us to believe beyond what we can fabricate on our own. We realize it’s ok if we don’t have all the answers or know how to make it work because we can access a source greater than our own strength and will. When we are at our end, faith keeps going so much that it brings somewhat of a certainty that what we are believing for WILL come to pass even though we don’t see how in the moment. #Hope#Faith#Marriage

If you can hold onto HOPE long enough, you just might see what has been buried and lost come back to life in your marriage! If you believe your marriage can grow and you are willing and wanting to do the worthwhile work, I believe with you! Go for it, cheering you on! #HopeInMarriage#Hope

When’s the last time you laughed out loud with your spouse? Grab some time this weekend, escape the routine, and let your guard down. Enjoy your spouse and be free. Laughter is the best medicine and also creates the best atmospheres. Go ahead and #LOL#Marriage #LaughterInMarriage#Hope

My boys “staying ready.” Putting in work. Stretching beyond convenience for a chance to be better than they could ever be in their comfort. What if we had this mentality in our marriages? What if we stayed ready? Stayed intentional? Continued to invest even when it got uncomfortable. What if we kept showing up, growing and being teachable? We just might see satisfaction and greatness emerge, purpose even, and FUN! #Hope#StayReady#Marriage#Intentionality

Be intentional about planning time to connect with your spouse and then use that time to ask intentional questions. These are some great questions to start with. 1. How’s your heart? This question helps your spouse to reflect on how they are really feeling/doing and it helps you become aware. 2. How can I serve you? You are offering to help meet practical needs and showing vulnerability which speaks to trust and connection. 3. How can I pray for you? Through this question you learn more of what is on your spouses heart. Possibly what concerns them and what they are thinking about and believing for. Praying together is a tender moment you can share that puts your focus on God and can grow unity in your marriage. #ConnectionInMarriage#Hope

One of the most dangerous words in marriage… #Hope#Marriage#Help#PrioritizeMarriage

This can change everything! #Hope#Marriage#SeekToUnderstand

Conflict doesn’t have to be as scary as we make it out to be. It’s an opportunity to come closer together. #Hope#Semantics#MarriageCommunication

Seems simple enough yet many of us miss this. From good morning to goodnight to hello and goodbye. To greeting one another with a kiss. This is something I am still growing in because I recognize how important it is to acknowledge your spouse, and fight against complacency. It’s easy to get used to our spouse and not give them the courtesy of such greetings, not because we are malicious but because we forget or are not thinking about it. Yet, greetings and such show awareness and appreciation. They are one of the simple things that point to us seeing our spouse and noticing their presence. #HopeForMarriage

Circumstances and blueprints. Have a listen. Hope it helps!❤️ #Hope#Marriage#Relentless

John 8:11. In this passage a woman was caught in the act of adultery. The people judged her and wanted to condemn her, but Jesus offered her another way. He said, “Go and sin no more.” So many of us are condemning ourselves and sitting in the mess we’ve created. We feel defeated and hopeless. Yet Jesus has offered us another way. He doesn’t condemn us rather, convicts us (encourages us to go in a different direction of life and hope). That’s good news and tells us that nothing is to difficult for God. I don’t know what you’re going through personally or in your marriage but I do know there is no condemnation in Christ. He loves you, is cheering you on and STILL has a purpose and plan for your life. Get up and go after it! #Hope#Marriage#Jesus

“Let’s revolutionize the health and enjoyment of our marriage!” #Appreciation#Marriage#HopeForMarriage

That emotional memory is strong! This is why HOW we talk to our spouse can be more important than anything else in the conversation. What is your tone, are you kind, making eye contact? How would your spouse say they feel around you in the day to day? What about after a passionate discussion;) Let’s endeavor to do our best to create an atmosphere where what is felt is love, grace and encouragement. Hope#Marriage#MayaAngelou

For many of us, community is the thing we are missing in our marriages. We are not alone and it’s nice to grow with and learn from other couples wanting to grow and learn in their marriages. Some of our best friends have been made in gatherings like this that are a result of leading or joining a marriage life group/connect group at our church. We gather weekly or bi monthly, share food, pray for one another and learn about how to strengthen our marriages. You can gather likeminded couples and start your own! There’s no perfect community because no one is perfect:) Yet, community is worth pursuing. As always, boundaries with the opposite sex are present and you’ll find strength in guys encouraging guys and women encouraging women. What you gain just from showing up is that camaraderie and encouragement to continue investing in your marriage and continue doing the things necessary to grow it. Sometimes marriage can be hard and it’s nice to know you have the support of others cheering your marriage on, especially in those challenging times, rather than tearing it down. It can be so rewarding and so much fun to do life together, get out of your comfort zone and go for it. #Hope#Marriage#MarriageConnection

This might seem small but it is huge. You are saying the same thing but one is assertive and expressing a desire while the other one is blaming and expressing a complaint. Complaints can be triggering for your spouse. Do we want to go on more dates or do we want our spouse to know that they don’t take us on any? One is about getting the desired outcome in the best way possible, while the other is about making sure our spouse knows where they are falling short. #Hope#Marriage#Dates#AssertiveMarriage

We are going to be discussing some common questions when it comes to marriage for the next few podcasts. (Message me questions you’re interested in please.) The latest podcast gives our thoughts on the following… 1. Is counseling for messed up couples? 2. Does true love take work? 3. Can we fall in and out of love? Link in profile #Hope#Marriage#MarriageMyths

This is so important. There’s no one that holds the place you hold in your marriage. Let’s support our spouses and show them we are for them. There’s so much we all go through on a day to day basis. Let’s be a respite for one another, and a source of encouragement. #Marriage#TeamworkInMarriage#Encouragement

These ladies were a major part of my younger years as I navigated so much while raising my two sons! They will always hold a tender place in my heart as a result. My mom passed away one month before my first son was born and my sister passed away a few years after my second son was born, while my brother passed away a few years prior to my firstborn. As a new mom, I was dealing with grief along with learning who I was. I suddenly found myself fully engaged in adulthood and not knowing what to do. I struggled. I struggled in marriage, purpose, contentment and joy. It was hard and lonely at times. These ladies and I worked it out together though, we prioritized meeting with one another, swapped for babysitting so we didn’t have to pay for it and we were intentional about some key aspects in our lives. This is what I want to share with you married mommas beginning this Saturday. I know if you are a married momma you can use the support. I knew I could back then and even to this day as I parent teens. I want to take you through some key concepts I learned to put in place from trial and error, earning a masters in marriage and family therapy and learning from others. Please join me and other mommas for 30 days of awakening. You can message me or email me for more details and the payment link. Hope to get to encourage you! You’re worth it! Sarahgayle@hoperelentless.com #Hope#Mommas#EncouragementForMoms

There’s so much here. This quote highlights the importance of personal growth and also speaks to the idea that we often marry people with similar emotional maturity. Have you ever felt like if your spouse was calmer in arguments you would be calmer? Or if your spouse did things differently you would respond differently? The more you grow the more it will impact the dynamic in your marriage. You just might start to see the qualities you have always wanted in your spouse and even more so, in yourself! #MarriageGrowth#Hope

Married Mommas! I want to connect with you. I know we need the encouragement and direction. Send me a message or email if you are interested. 30 days starting Sat, Sept 9th. 7-8am AZ time. -5 weeks of group zoom sessions full of equipping, encouragement and community (recorded so still accessible if you miss) -Three thirty minute one on one sessions with me. -A powerful marriage and accountability focus All for $150 when my regular rate for ONE session is $125. #ItsWorthIt#YoureWorthIt#Mommas#Moms#MomAccountability#MarriageAccountability#Encouragement Sarahgayle@hoperelentless.com

Jesus knew who He was and washed his disciple’s feet. He served from that knowing. The more we are secure in who we are, the more we can let our guard down to serve our spouse. Without keeping track and having expectations of reciprocation, rather because we know it builds our marriage, changes the atmosphere and follows the example of Jesus. Let your choosing to serve your spouse empower you to do it freely and with joy. #ServingInMarriage#HopeInMarriage#HopeRelentless#Marriage

Where is your focus? We become what we think on and we can become the very thing we hate if we don’t pursue healing and the direction we want to go. #Hope#Marriage#ThePast#Healing

There’s a difference. Many of us don’t have room for our marriage in the life we are creating. We are busy, busy, busy. We think one day we can get to the marriage but busy begets busy. Have you ever heard someone say something like, “when I have more money I will be more generous,” yet they are not generous with anything they do or have now? It’s the same with marriage. It’s incredibly difficult to suddenly start doing something that you have not done for years. It’s not always about circumstances rather, your heart. Is your marriage important to you? Do you want to give it your all? Do it now. Make it a priority in the midst of the busyness of life. Say no to things, make a plan to create a life that prioritizes what’s important to you so you don’t end up living a life that is void of meaning and based on reaction. #MarriageTime#HopeInMarriage

Consistency beats intensity. I don’t know what tomorrow holds but I know that I can seize today. #ConsistencyInMarriage#IntentionalMarriage#HopeThatIsRelentless

When we keep track no one wins. We can develop a critical lense that we see our spouse through that makes it so nothing they do is right. What we fixate on grows whether it’s negative or positive so we find what we’re looking for. This does not mean the wrongs didn’t hurt or that they don’t matter, it just means we don’t keep track of them. The same measure we use against them will be used against us. Choose love, don’t keep record of wrongs. #ForgivenessInMarriage#DefinitionOfLove

Finding a trusted counselor/coach is crucial in marriage. BUT, never underestimate the power of trusted people in your life that have been given permission to speak into your marriage. They know you the most and can hold you accountable in ways only they can. Find out more on the podcast and in this video. #MarriageAccountability#MarriageMentors#HopeRelentlessMarriage

Chad and I have been more consistent with date nights than ever before and I caught myself slippin. Taking it for granted, acting tired, being casual because I was used to it. This happens not only with date night but with so many other things in marriage as well. We get casual. Awareness is key. Get creative, get your mind right, plan something new and turn up for the person you love.❤️ #Datenight#HopeInMarriage

It’s important to take inventory of the thoughts we think when we are disappointed. What do you think about yourself? Your spouse? Replace negativity with truth and positivity. #Hope#Marriage#Thoughts

We need one another. From mentors, to counselors, coaches, and friendships, who is a part of your village that is helping your marriage grow? Who are you learning from? Who is encouraging your marriage and who are you encouraging? This life is not easy and we need to know we are not alone and there is help and hope. We were not made to be isolated. It takes a village. #Hope#Marriage#Community

Let’s hold ourselves to a higher standard when we are frustrated, angry, offended etc and talking to our spouse. How we talk to one another in those moments especially, matter and impact intimacy, trust and ones desire for future conversations. Self control is important but also having a plan before we get to those moments. For more when it comes to planning in advance to have fruitful conversations, check out the podcast. Link in profile. #Hope#Marriage#Joy#Communication

Are you forgiving more often? Are you coming back together after an argument quicker? Have you gone from no date nights to one a month? If any of these answers are yes, you are making progress and growing!! We can’t always control the exact results but we can show up for the process that makes the results more possible. Nothing is to small to celebrate when you are growing. Your marriage is hopefully a lifetime so you will never arrive. Arrival is not the goal but maturity is. Are you getting better over time, wiser, learning and growing? Don’t get discouraged about your marriage just because you don’t see the exact result you want or complete change in an area. Is there movement? Is there growth? Celebrate! #Hope#Marriage#Growth

Get to know your spouse through intentional connection questions. Notice them, be curious, ask. Grow emotional intimacy by making and taking the time. #Hope#Marriage#Intentionality

New on the podcast. (Link in profile) A discussion worth having. “Affair Proof” your marriage. #Hope#Marriage#Boundaries

Huge Welcome to Mark Benson who is now a part of the Hope Relentless team! Mark has been married for over 25 years and has five children. He has a masters degree in counseling and is adamant about the importance of learning, growing and seeking the support of others so that we can grow in knowledge, and experience happiness in our relationships. Reach out for a free consultation. Marriages impact families, families impact communities and communities impact the world. HopeRelentless.com #Hope#Marriage

We know enough. Our application of what we know and consistent plan of action is what impacts our day to day. Accountability is what keeps us going even when we want to stop. It keeps us from falling back into that comfort zone or that familiar place that was not serving us or our marriage. What do you know about what it takes to have a fulfilling marriage? Are you doing what you know? Who is holding you accountable to do what you know even when you feel lazy, complacent or forget? #Hope#Marriage#Action#Accountability

Does this happen in your relationship? We are talking about assertiveness and the like on the podcast today. Have a listen!! Link is in the profile. Say what you mean and mean what you say. #Marriage#Hope#Communication

I asked my 12 year old son what he has learned about marriage from watching us, in light of our recent 18 year anniversary and that’s what he said. Interesting and so true! I’m not sure in what circumstances he has caught us doing this but acts of kindness in marriage can definitely change the atmosphere of the marriage and soften what otherwise would have been an argument. What kind act can you do today to bless your spouse? #Hope#Marriage#Kindness

18 years today yall!! We are officially adults in marriage yet we still act like children🤣 Out of all the years, the one constant has been my relationship with Jesus and what His example teaches me about life and love. What His standard invites me to and what true love truly entails. Sacrifice, forgiveness, grace, tenacity, pursuit, gentleness,etc. In the midst of the plethora of failings and successes in my marriage, God has been there. It’s truly humbling to know how much more there is to experience and who a couple of kids who met at UCLA over 20 years ago will continue to become. 18 years is just the beginning. What an adventure. Thankful and committed to the journey of growth and intentionality. #Hope#Marriage#Anniversary

Patient meaning to persevere and be persistent. Rooted in commitment above feeling or what the other deserves. Kind meaning our reactions and actions are filled with goodness. How can you be patient and kind in your marriage today? We say we love our spouse we want to be loved by our spouse but are we exemplifying love through our patience and kindness? Always room to grow here! 🙋🏾‍♀️1 Corinthians 13:4. #Love#Marriage#Hope

Forgiveness may be the missing piece in your life. It’s hard to move forward if we are constantly holding onto and replaying what has happened to us. We start to build a case and filter everything through what we are holding onto. Knowing what forgiveness is not can be just as important as knowing what forgiveness is. Forgiveness frees you up to heal and rebuild a relationship and discern a healthy way forward. Unforgiveness clouds our judgement and robs us of living the life we want to live. Make a decision to forgive in spite of feelings, trust the process, God’s got you! #Hope#Marriage

Do you sweep things under the rug when it comes to challenges in marriage? If so, why? Some of us do it to avoid conflict or keep the “peace.” Some of us do it because we are choosing our battles, others do it because they do not see how anything will change. We all have our reasons but what I have seen time and time again is that the stuff under the rug does not magically go away with time. It becomes a constant stumbling block and even grows. The stuff under the rug in marriage can be connected to the resentment we feel, the lack of emotional connection, the feelings of walking on egg shells and ultimately emotional and physical affairs. Let’s look under the rug and look at one issue at a time. It may be uncomfortable initially and demand more of us in the way of our attention, focus and perseverance, but a marriage of authenticity and growth is worth far more than our comfort and ease! #Hope#Marriage

Strategize in your marriage! #Hope#Marriage#Strategize

There’s nothing like marriage to show you the good bad and the ugly. It’s one of our greatest opportunities to truly learn about how we respond in conflict, heartbreak, disappointment, joy, contentment, etc. Marriage is a mirror to our faith and our heart. It has a unique way of showing us the gap between who we are and who we want to be. It’s humbling, vulnerable and confrontational as we are met with a choice daily to give ourselves and our spouse grace while we commit to growth. #Hope#Marriage#Growth

Have you subscribed to our podcast? Check it out for marriage encouragement and action steps. This week we’re talking about Mindset and Marriage. #Hope#MarriagePodcast#Mindset

Our spouses remember how they feel when they speak to us, not always the justification of why we treated them the way we did and yelled at them or were short with them. No one wants to be vulnerable in conversation when they remember that it felt horrible. When we let our extreme emotions lead in conversations it can lead our spouse to feel extreme emotions too. When we create an emotionally hurtful atmosphere to converse, our spouse will remember and when those emotions arise, will not want to converse with us. Pay attention to how you speak in times where you are high on emotion because it matters. Take a breath first then proceed or wait until you are in a better place internally. Regardless of how you feel, lead with respect and love. #Hope#Marriage#Communication

Faith comes by hearing and hearing the Word of God. Some of us are so discouraged in life and marriage and relying on our own strength. The shift that can happen when we focus on God’s goodness and rely on his strength is significant. I was reminded of this throughout my morning workout. I literally went from lethargic and feeling weak, thinking I might be sick to putting my focus on Jesus then gaining strength and energy I didn’t know was there. #Hope#Marriage

Validation Def: recognition or affirmation that a person or their feelings or opinions are valid or worthwhile. Our spouse is worthwhile. Their thoughts, feelings opinions, all of it, is worthwhile. Although we might not feel like everything they say is valid ( logical) to us, it is worthwhile because they are worthwhile. Validation shows our spouse that we are tracking with them and we are patient enough to hear what they are saying before we jump to what we want to say. Validation says I see you and your thoughts matter to me, you matter to me. We can feel validated in a conversation without agreement. If conversations are only successful if our spouse agrees with us, there’s growth needed. If we don’t validate our spouse because we don’t agree with them, there’s growth needed. #Hope#Marriage

Turn towards bids (your spouse’s attempts to connect), and say thank you. Don’t ruin the moment by questioning their motives, being insecure or holding onto resentment. Giving a bid can take a lot of courage especially when the marriage has been tumultuous. You gotta start somewhere, accept the bid. #Hope#Marriage

When we make mistakes in our marriage and life we don’t need to dwell, or in pride continue to go down a path that leads to more hurt. Rather, stop, take ownership and do the next best thing. “The time is always right to do what is right.” -MLK #Hope#Marriage

Intensify and Maintain. There are certain times in marriage that we need intensity. Life transitions such as a child born, a new job, etc, anything that requires a new normal requires our immediate attention and focus to make sure we work through changes in the day to day and are on the same page as our spouse. Intensify. Events that challenge the marriage and create a lack of connection, also require us to intensify our focus and actions in order to fight for our marriage and do what it takes to get back on track. Although certain times require our intensity, constant intensity is not sustainable. Most of marriage exists in the maintaining stage where we are simply living out what we have set in place in times of intensity but also in times of every day connection. Do not confuse maintaining with settling or laziness. On the contrary, it’s accountability to what was agreed to and the growth desired. #Hope#Marriage#Intensify#Maintain

Love text from my husband. He sees me. He notices. He thinks I’m awesome😏I talk to couples I work with about appreciating one another DAILY. It is a big deal and shapes the atmosphere as well as sets the stage for amazing communication and intimacy. What can you tell your spouse today that shows them you see them, you notice them and you are cheering them on? So much goes unnoticed in the demands of the day to day. Those days turn into weeks and those weeks into months, years and so on. Take the time now to specifically notice and encourage. #Hope#Marriage#LoveText

Please welcome Isabelle Lovejoy to the Hope Relentless Team! Isabelle has her masters degree in youth and family ministry, and she is currently working on a masters degree in mental health and wellness in Christian ministry all while navigating her blended family. She is a wife of five years and believes that there is hope and true healing found when couples can work together to build communication skills and challenge themselves in the areas of trust and conflict resolution. We are delighted to have her on the team impacting marriages the way she does! Marriages impact families, families impact communities and communities impact the world! Isabelle is still taking new couples! Reach out to schedule a free consultation with her. We are happy to help. #Hope#Marriage

And the next day. Don’t stop. Be that “annoying” couple that lifts each other up even in front of others. Whenever there is opportunity take it but if the opportunity does not seem to arise, make it. Appreciate the person you are building a life with and watch as the atmosphere of your home lights up. #Hope#Marriage#Appreciation

There are unseen elements to communication that greatly impact the outcome. Patience, grace and trust. In effective and connected communication they’re all there. #Hope#Marriage#Communication

Yes yes yes. Getting help in your marriage is walking in wisdom. We don’t know it all, there is no perfect marriage and we all need a bit of encouragement and accountability! Counseling is a sign of strength, not weakness. You might learn something that changes the course of your marriage, ignites adventure in your day to day and maybe even helps you to live more on purpose. #Hope#Marriage

Quality time with my dad this week and we saw The Little Mermaid! My husband is thanking the Lord it was my dad who took me, as opposed to him😂 All I could think about while watching was how Eric & Arielle could REALLY benefit from counseling. 😂🙋🏾‍♀️ I mean such different cultures and experiences to navigate through, the trauma of fighting a sea witch, AND the minor detail of changing species to be together. There’s a lot riding on this marriage. Why do it on your own! Why do any of us do it on our own? Get the help Arielle & Eric! Get the help! Cheering you on. #Hope#Marriage

This way of life can feel vulnerable. What if “they” don’t appreciate me and take me for granted? Why would I honor my spouse above myself when I don’t feel honored? Wont I be a doormat, I matter too! These are all thoughts that cross our mind when we are asked to give of ourselves regardless of what we get and with no assurance that we will eventually experience a return. Yet, such a perspective can create an atmosphere in your marriage and life that is not only fulfilling but meaningful. Take a risk, go for it. #Hope#Marriage#Love

Speak life over your spouse! It can be life changing. #Hope#Marriage#Words

A common complaint and deterioration in marriage is when the couple begins to drift apart. We hear it said that couples “just” drift apart over time and they change so much that they’re different people and don’t know one another anymore. It doesn’t have to be that way. There are ways to stay connected and avoid the drift but like with everything it takes intentionality. Fight to avoid the drift! #Hope#Marriage#Connection#Intentional

Do you know that you know? #Hope#Marriage#Worth

Our retaliations can look like holding back love, seeking comfort outside of the marriage, speaking disrespectfully, etc. Its an integrity issue. When we know the right we are to do, and we don’t do it, we are responsible, not our spouse. We cannot control what our spouse does but we can certainly hold ourselves accountable to what we do. Over time, as we keep doing our part, it just might compel, influence and encourage our spouse to also do theirs. #Hope#Marriage

We had an incredible time talking about intentionality and teamwork last weekend at our very first Hope Relentless Seminar. 👏🏾👏🏾🎉Thankful for all of the couples who took time out of their day to prioritize their marriage. Marriage impacts family, family impacts community and communities impact the world. ❤️ #Hope#Marriage

How’s YOUR heart? #Hope#Marriage

When Hope Relentless was just a seed in my heart, I received this @thegivingkeys necklace. I NEEDED that word HOPE after a series of deaths in my family and residue of heartbreak over the years. The necklace hung on my chest as a declaration that I clung to until I sensed it was time to pass the necklace (message) on to someone who needed it more. Working with couples for me is personal. I believe in hope that is rooted in someone greater than myself and from that knowing, I KNOW each person I work with can overcome and flourish. What an honor to enter such an intimate space. One I am humbled by and grateful for. Always. Need some renewing? Some strength? “But those who HOPE in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” -Isaiah 40:31 #Hope#Marriage#Faith

Lean into one another. Two perspectives on the same issue isn’t a bad thing. You just get to see the whole picture. Differences can help you be that much more understanding and relatable as a couple. You make a great team when you value and respect one another and you can learn so much more than only seeing things from your perspective. #Hope#Marriage#Communication

It may be cliche but we’re STILL dating in these Arizona streets! Without fail as distractions cease, I remember that I REALLY enjoy time with the man I love. ❤️🎉@chicchef77 #Hope#Marriage#DateNight#Friendship#Love

As spouses when we recognize that our spouse is sensitive/reactive when it comes to certain interactions as a result of past trauma/bad experiences, we have the opportunity to meet them where they are, rather than where we want them to be or think they should be. At the same time as individuals who are sensitive/reactive to certain interactions, we are responsible to work on the root and reason behind our sensitivity and reactions. It’s both and. Give grace to one another but also make sure you are taking personal responsibility for how you are showing up in the marriage, regardless of why you are showing up that way. #Marriage#Hope#Grace#Responsibility

It can be so difficult to communicate with your spouse when there is a difference of opinion. Start with the ideas in the video and see how the conversation goes from there. #Hope#Marriage#Reframe

Conversate over argue. One is productive while the other is not. Do you want to build the marriage or win the moment? #Hope#Marriage#Conversations#Arguments

Warm welcome to @jess_careyaz who has joined the Hope Relentless counseling team. She is a wife of over 16 years with over a decade of experience impacting and counseling couples. She has a passion for conflict resolution, communication, and fostering fun in marriage! We are grateful to have her! Reach out to nurture your already flourishing marriage, get help with challenges in your marriage and/or prepare for marriage. Marriage impacts families, families impact communities and communities impact the world. Www.HopeRelentless.com #Hope#Marriage

“Leave me alone, vs. can we address this at another time?” Both the same message that you don’t want to have the conversation in the present moment but received very differently. Take the time to give care towards the HOW when you are communicating with your spouse. Sometimes it’s helpful to ask yourself if you would want to be spoken to how you speak to others. Be kind. #Marriage#Love#Hope

Let’s stop doing the same thing and expecting a different result. Do something different. It’s ok to reach out for help. We ALL could use a different perspective and help with blind spots in our marriage. #Hope#Marriage

What if we really believed this about our spouse?! How would we treat them? How would we show gratitude? How would we be intentional about showing it? Its all a mentality. We can choose to believe it and start to see the gold in that person we can so easily take for granted. #Hope#Marriage#Gratitude

My dear friend Jocelyn, who is a certified trainer with The Grief Recovery Method, is offering one of her coveted classes NOW. I went through grief recovery with Jocelyn after losing my brother, mother and sister in the span of three years. One of the most freeing things I learned was that there are not linear steps/stages to grief, we are all on our own journey. The class starts Monday, April 17. I know so many of you reading can benefit from something like this. You are worth it, and your marriage and family are worth it too. When we are hurting it impacts everything. We can’t ignore deep grief and pain and think our relationships will flourish. Also, grief is not exclusive to losing a loved one. We also grieve over lost opportunities, past seasons of life, dysfunctional childhoods, etc. Sign up now, help is available! Classes are on Mondays April 17-May 29th, 5:30-7:30 PST. To sign up email Jocelyn for pricing and registration. themobettajo@gmail.com #Hope#Marriage#Grief#Healing

Simple, yet knowing this is EVERYTHING. #Hope#Marriage

Thinking of so many couples I have worked with and how hard they have fought/ are fighting for their marriage as they realize it isn’t just about them. Marriage impacts families, families impact communities and communities impact the world. I am daily inspired and humbled by their perseverance. I am saddened by the pain of their past and present but most of all, hopeful for what can be. Excited for what’s to come. So many of us underestimate how significant our place in our family is. No one is like you. The work is worth it. Healing is worth it. YOU are worth it. #Hope#Marriage#Legacy#Family

He is risen! What an important message everyday! Where there was no hope, there is now abounding hope AND certainty. It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be glorious and there is nothing to fear. He has overcome the world! The BEST is truly yet to come. Where do you need hope in your marriage. What feels like death that needs to be brought back to life. Don’t give up, reach out for help, look to the one who makes all things new and calls things that are not as though they were. Who sees you right where you are with all your failures and victories and loves you through it all. There is always, always, HOPE. #Jesus#Marriage#Hope

These blurry hands are Chad and I cheering on our “Habits of Marriage,” crew. This was the “ours” session of our his, hers and ours weekly talks to build strong habits and accountability in our marriages. What a special group that recognizes our marriages are worth the time and consistency. So much more coming! Lots to celebrate! *If you have completed the 12 weeks of “Building A Firm Foundation,” you are eligible to join us! DM me! If not keep doing what you already know to do to encourage and prioritize your marriage! Be intentional. #Hope#Marriage#Habits

You’re doing better than you think you are. So many of us did not grow up with examples of how to grow a marriage, we knew what we knew and we were where we were. There’s nothing we can do about the past so stop holding yourself to the failures of it. Instead, seize the day and recognize with every failure there was/is something to learn. Now is the time to take hold of those lessons and continue to grow and build and intentionally work towards the future you want. #Hope#Marriage#Grow

Connection in marriage is crucial and the type of connection matters! What are you doing to connect with your spouse? #Hope#Marriage

A simple yet powerful reminder. #Hope#Marriage#Teammates

Consistency wins! In marriage and life in general it’s not always the grand displays and gestures that matter, it’s the consistency over time that builds a life. Start small and just focus on being consistent. Don’t get overwhelmed by all the details and don’t feel like you need to go from 0-100, just be consistent. Over time you will grow in the habit of doing what you said you would do and you can make what you are doing bigger/ more detailed if you want. Don’t underestimate the power of doing small things consistently! Without consistency the marriage you want will be hit and miss and well, inconsistent. #Hope#Marriage#Consistency