Why Marriage Matters: The Power of Community

You look at the world some days and think, who am I to make a difference? The problems are so big, and your life feels so ordinary.

Here's what we've come to believe. You can change the world one marriage at a time, starting with yours. A healthy marriage doesn't just bless the two of you. It overflows into every place you set foot.

This is the final conversation in our "Why Marriage" series, building on the power of partnership and the power of family. Today we follow the ripple all the way out: the power of community.

Episode summary

Chad and Sarah-Gayle bring the series home by following the ripple effect of a marriage out into the world. Community, they explain, is simply wherever you are: your neighborhood, your kids' school, the sidelines, your church, even your regular grocery store. When a marriage is healthy and confident (not perfect), a couple carries strength and encouragement into all of those places.

They share stories of friends who opened their homes and changed lives, unpack the difference between hosting and entertaining, and offer a challenge: you don't have to arrive before you engage. It's by engaging with your community that you actually become a better version of yourself.

Community is wherever you are

When we say community, we don't mean a program. Community is wherever you find yourself engaging with other people. Your neighbors down the street. Where your kids go to school or play sports. Your church. The grocery store you visit every week.

We strongly believe that when your marriage is healthy and thriving, when there's confidence and enjoyment, not perfection, you carry that into every one of those places. And by the design of how communities work, even if you never leave yours, you impact the world. People come in, people go out, and the ripple keeps moving. When your marriage is healthy, your family is healthier, and you have something worth carrying out the front door, or worth inviting people in to share.

You can change the world one marriage at a time, starting with yours. Chad & Sarah-Gayle Galbreath

Made to make a difference

This topic fires me up, because I believe we were made for it. Jesus died for each of us individually, so you matter on your own. But when you're married, the purpose gets bigger than just you. There are two of you now, with a marriage and a family, and you're called to be a city on a hill, to let your light shine, to bring others in.

You are here for such a time as this. You could have been born in any other moment, but you're here now, to make an impact, not just on yourselves and your family, but on your community. And you don't lose yourself in the process. We're still individuals. Sarah-Gayle is part of a local Toastmasters that's very much her community, and that's a good thing. We hold the both/and: individual callings, and the power of going out together as a family to bring encouragement into spaces that are often full of competition, comparison, and criticism.

The feast that changed a hundred lives

When we lived in LA, we had dear friends, Alex and Shauna. Every Christmas, and I think Thanksgiving too, they opened their home to people who had nowhere else to go, and they didn't just open the door, they put on a feast. Shauna would cook for days. We very much partook in the greens, the brisket, the banana pudding.

But the food wasn't the thing that stuck with us. It was the intentionality. It's one thing to let people in the door. It's another to speak life over them, to include them, to serve them on purpose. There were maybe a hundred people there some years, and somehow it still felt intimate. To this day those people are scattered across states and countries, leading ministries, living out callings, carrying a model of hospitality they first experienced at that table.

Another couple, our friends Alex and Jessica, just live with an open door. We have the code to their house. You walk in and there are lifelong friends, family, and someone they met that afternoon, all in the same room. It's a beautiful picture, because you never know what someone is carrying when you extend an invitation, or how much it will mean.

Host, don't entertain

For some people, inviting others in comes naturally. For others it feels inconvenient. Clean up before, clean up after, a bigger grocery bill, cooking for way more people than planned. There are plenty of reasons to skip it. But back up and look at the impact, and it's worth it.

There's a book, The Habits of the Household, that names a distinction that helped us. Entertaining is inviting people in to present yourself in the best light and make sure everyone has a great time. It takes enormous energy, and it's all about you. Hosting is inviting people to experience your home the way it actually is. "Come on in. Dinner might be chaotic, the plan was for six and now there's nine, so we'll figure it out." Between careers and kids, our life isn't always clean or in order. But it's worth opening the real thing to people, not the performance.

And you don't have to wait until you've arrived. As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. It's actually by engaging your community that you become a better version of yourself.

Your next step

Pick one. Invite one person or one family into your real, unpolished home this month, or show up to one community space, your kid's game, a neighbor's driveway, with encouragement instead of comparison. Host. Don't entertain.

Cheering you on,
- Chad & Sarah-Gayle

There's always, always hope.

Read the full episode transcript

Welcome to the Hope Relentless marriage podcast. Chad and Sarah-Gayle here. We're recapping our series. First was why marriage, the power of partnership, the significance of the husband and wife relationship and how two is better than one through the highs and lows. Second was why marriage, the power of family, how that partnership impacts the children and extended family. That leads to today: the power of community.

So much in life asks for our attention. Why invest in marriage? Because a healthy marriage, full of laughter and joy and romance, has an impact on the community. Community is wherever we are: our homes, neighbors, where our kids go to school or play sports, our church, even the grocery store. When our marriage is healthy and thriving, with confidence and not perfection, we carry that into the places we go, and the opportunity to impact our community is significant. Even if we don't leave our community, we impact the world, because people come in and go out. The ripple is unlimited. Marriage is the foundation that impacts every other area of life. Individuals can impact the community too, but if our marriage is struggling, our ability to go out and impact is limited. So we start from a firm foundation, a healthy marriage, and go out from a place of strength, confidence, and faith.

This fires me up because we were made to make a difference. Jesus died for each of us individually, so we matter, but when we're married the purpose becomes bigger than us. We're called to be cities on a hill, to bring others in, to let our light shine. We're here for such a time as this. We're still individuals, with individual purposes; Sarah-Gayle is part of a local Toastmasters, and that's great. But there's power in going into the community as a unit to bring encouragement, especially in spaces full of competition, comparison, and criticism.

To be fulfilled is to step into the purpose God has given us. Jesus summed up the law: love God and love people. That's our purpose as individuals, marriages, and families, when we engage our community, whether inviting people in or going out. A story comes to mind: in LA we had dear friends, Alex and Shauna, who every Christmas opened their home to people with nowhere to go, and provided a feast. Shauna cooked for days. We partook in the greens, brisket, banana pudding. But the thing that stood out was the intentionality, speaking life, including people, serving. Maybe a hundred people, and it felt intimate. Those people are now all over, leading ministries, carrying a model of hospitality. Another couple, Alex and Jessica, have an open door; we have the code to their house, and there's always a mix of lifelong friends and someone they just met. You never know what someone is going through when you extend an invitation.

Think about moments you've been included in community and moments you've been excluded, and how that felt. As followers of Christ, when we view our marriage as a ministry and a place of purpose, we see how our family and marriage can impact the community, going out and inviting people in. That's where the satisfaction and meaning come from. Again, it's the health of the marriage, not perfection. Perfection is unattainable and leads to frustration. It's a continued process of growth. As our marriages get healthier, we want to be a city on a hill and open our homes, because we have nothing to hide in our authentic selves.

When you look at the health of your marriage, are you growing or stagnant? A lot of times there's no in between, we're growing or dying. If you're not where you want to be, reach out, look to other podcasts, books, resources. When our marriages are a priority they're more fulfilling, and we can impact the community and the world. We can change the world one marriage at a time, starting with yours.

How we engage can look different, inviting people in, volunteering at school, coaching local sports. It takes time, but it's being present. Proverbs says as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another, so don't feel you have to arrive before you engage. It's by engaging that we become better. The book The Habits of the Household describes hosting versus entertaining. Entertaining presents ourselves in a positive light and takes a lot of energy. Hosting invites people to experience the home as it naturally is. It's easy to default to entertaining, but hosting is, come in, sometimes it's messy, the plan was for six and now there's nine, we figure it out. It's inviting people into authentic day-to-day life, and it's worth it. We hope you enjoyed this series on why marriage, and see the opportunity to impact your family, your community, and the world. We are changing the world. Until next time, there is always, always hope.