Why Marriage Matters: The Power of Partnership

You said "I do" believing the two of you could face anything together. Then life happened. A loss you never saw coming. A season where you felt more like roommates than teammates. A stretch where you wondered if the partnership you signed up for was even still there.

If you've been married longer than five minutes, you've tasted both the best and the hardest of what marriage can be. That's not a sign something is broken. That's the nature of a real partnership.

This is the first conversation in our three-part "Why Marriage" series, and we want to start at the foundation: the power of two people walking through life on the same team.

Episode summary

In this episode, Chad and Sarah-Gayle talk about why the husband and wife partnership is the most basic and most powerful unit in a family. The health of that one relationship ripples out into the family, the community, and the world. They share the highs and the lows, including the loss of Chad's brother just four months into their marriage, and how showing up for each other in the hardest moments grew their connection instead of breaking it.

The heart of it is simple: marriage is an adventure worth having. Not a perfect one. A real one, where two people keep choosing to show up, ask for forgiveness, and invest in each other over the long haul.

The most basic unit, the biggest ripple effect

Scripture talks about prudence, the wisdom to look ahead and understand how today shapes tomorrow. When we look at marriage through that lens, something becomes clear. The most basic unit of society is the individual, and the most significant relationship most of us will ever have is our spouse.

So the health of your marriage is not a small, private thing. It is the foundation that everything else gets built on. It moves from the partnership into the family, into the community, and into the world. Almost everything after it is copied from the health of that one relationship.

Marriage has a unique opportunity to bring out the best in us. The partnership is where it all starts. Chad & Sarah-Gayle Galbreath

The highs, the lows, and the gut punch we didn't expect

When I think of marriage, I think of the highs and lows. We all go through them. With a partner at your side, the highs become richer and the lows become survivable.

We learned that early. We had been married four months when I got the news that my brother had unexpectedly passed away. We were in our early twenties. Everything felt like it was still in front of us, the dreams, the excitement, and then this loss nobody saw coming.

I was a husband of a couple months, and I had no idea what to do. This was not in the premarital training. I didn't know how to comfort my wife when her world had just been turned upside down. So I did the only thing I knew to do. I stayed present. I tried to be there.

Sarah-Gayle has said it was a godsend, because she cried every night for a year. It was a season of deciding what we really believed about God and about each other. And we came out of it closer, not because either of us had the perfect words, but because we refused to retreat from each other.

That is the power of partnership. You can show up even when you don't know how to show up, and your presence alone can carry your spouse through.

A marriage is a mirror

Then came the other side of the adventure. Holding our firstborn son when he was small enough to fit in your hand. Becoming a family. Experiencing the good after walking through the hard. That mix builds a grit and a love that is hard to explain.

Marriage gives you a proximity to another person that no other relationship offers. You see each other's strengths and weaknesses up close. (Sarah-Gayle knows I notice she carries her water bottle around all day still full.) That closeness is an invitation. You can use it to encourage and sharpen each other, or you can use it to wound and withdraw.

This is where so much is at stake. The same relationship that can bring healing and strength can also mark a person with discouragement. That is exactly why we love coming alongside marriages. When one marriage is encouraged and strengthened, the ripple is enormous.

If you want to keep going in the series, this idea carries straight into the power of family and how marriage shapes the next generation.

Owning our own part

Earlier we talked about grief, pain that came from outside of us. But here's the honest part. A lot of the time, we have caused our own pain, and each other's, too.

We're not here to normalize dysfunction or tell you to just keep being hard on each other. And we're not chasing perfection, because perfection is false and it creates its own problems. What we want is something real. Authentic and intentional. A marriage where you build the skills that reduce how often you hurt each other, and where you also get honest about the fact that over a lifetime, stuff is going to happen.

So you learn to extend forgiveness. You learn to ask for it. You start over and keep rebuilding trust, because the relationship is worth it. Transformation happens from the inside out, and as each of us takes an honest inventory of what we're working on, the marriage gets stronger.

The constant in my life is you

Scripture says that as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. I've had different jobs and careers. We've lived in different cities in different seasons. I've had close friends come and go. But after almost twenty years, the constant in my life is you.

That's the return on investment marriage offers. You pour into the one relationship that stays, and the payoff is unlimited. Wherever you are today, whether you're newly married, deep in the hard years, or starting again after pain, the best really can be ahead of you.

Your next step

You don't need a grand gesture this week. Take one baby step toward your spouse. Name one high you've shared and thank them for it, and name one low you walked through together and tell them you're glad they were there. Presence, out loud.

Cheering you on,
- Chad & Sarah-Gayle

There's always, always hope.

Read the full episode transcript

Sarah-Gayle and Chad here with Hope Relentless. We're excited to talk about marriage, and in this series we're starting with the concept of why marriage. Why is marriage important, and why have we made it one of the primary focuses of our life? The first thing we want to talk about is the partnership that marriage brings.

Before we jump in, think about the basic unit of a family. Scripture talks about prudence, the wisdom to look ahead and understand how today impacts tomorrow. The most basic unit of society is the individual, and after that the most significant relationship many of us have is our spouse. So the health of the marriage has a massive ripple effect, from the partnership into the family, into the community, into the world. Everything after it is copied from the health of that relationship.

Marriage brings out the best in us, but also the worst. If you've been married longer than five minutes you've experienced both. You have a partner, a helpmate, a confidant. When I think of marriage I think of the highs and lows. With a partner at your side, the highs are richer and the lows are bearable.

One thing I remember: my brother passed away, the first death that was very close to me. We had been married four months. We were in our early twenties, your brother in his mid-twenties, and it felt like everything was in front of us. Then this gut punch nobody expected. It was the first significant loss and grief we experienced individually and together. As a husband of a couple months, I was at a loss for what to do, what comfort even looked like. This wasn't in the premarital training. I didn't know how to comfort my wife when her sibling passed away. So I just tried to be present.

He was a godsend for me, because I cried every night for a year after my brother passed. It was a time of faith transformation, deciding, is God good, what do I really believe. He was by my side, and we grew closer because we went through the darkest time together. He didn't know what to do, but his presence was there. That's the power of marriage, showing up even when you don't know how.

As Christians, the basics of our faith are loving God and loving each other. Marriage gives us this proximity, day in and day out, in difficult seasons and seasons of celebration. You see the best in each other and the weaknesses too, at a depth most people don't see. That's an opportunity to be there for each other, or to retreat and withdraw. A husband and wife shape each other's future. The impact is so significant, because it can bring healing and strength, or mark each other with wounds.

Remember our first child being born, the joy of holding him. Becoming a family. Experiencing amazing things after going through harder things creates a grit and a love that's unique. We know each other's weaknesses. He knows I'm trying to drink more water and keep carrying my water bottle full. We have the opportunity to accept and encourage, or depart and withdraw. Marriage sharpens us more than any other relationship, because it's like a mirror.

When we think of the covenant of marriage, God ordained it as something sacred. He gives us the unity and the Holy Spirit to help us, because it's difficult to consider one another above ourselves, to forgive and not be easily offended. Earlier we talked about grief from outside our own actions, but the reality is we've caused our own pain, and each other's. Our passion is to rally around marriages so couples know they're not the only ones who experience hard times. We don't want to normalize dysfunction, but we also know we all make mistakes. Part of why we do this is to build community where people are encouraged to persevere and lean in instead of withdraw, to develop skills that minimize how often we cause pain, and to extend and ask for forgiveness when it happens.

The impact we have, when we show up with perseverance and grit over the long haul, makes a difference in how we love our spouse, our kids, and our community. It's transformation from the inside out. Marriage is an adventure. We want to see the fruit of a life lived in humility, asking for forgiveness, doing the hard work, so we can experience the joy of being married. Wherever you are today, our heart is to encourage you. We can't undo the past, but the best is yet to come.

The Scripture says as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. After almost twenty years, the constant in my life is you. The investment in our marriage is always worth it, and the return is unlimited. I hope you enjoyed hearing about the power of partnership. Until next time, there's always, always hope.